Anxious
21-07-17 / July 17th, 2021
My head really hurts this evening. I'm rather anxious about tomorrow.
I was out in the scorching 35 sun today. I came home and crawled up to shower in cold water. It was a first time for me, but the sensation of cold was wonderful, though I wonder if that would get me into shock.
But today, I'm just really, really anxious, and got mad. I'm also really sad that I'm travelling budget-style. I can only bring back 12 kilos.
I have some pretty nice clothes that I can't bring back. I was the one who brought them here, too, so they're all the clothes I actually like and care for, and I don't usually care for stuff like that.
But it's very stressful, because I'm partially a hoarder. Now I can't bring back some of these nice clothes. Who knows if I'll end up getting them back anytime soon. If I even return to this place, too.
I don't know what to think. My fabled, dear pajamas that have become a laughing matter are sitting on the stool over there. Am I bringing them back, or will I try to fit it in somehow?...
It's super hard to exchange things to not go over the weight limit. Lots of good shirts and a few rather big things. I'm disappointed.
But I'm anxious. Very anxious. I don't know how tomorrow is going to go nor do I know how it'll be once I get back.
I wonder if I'll be happier once I come home, though part of me feels like I could have very well been lead back into a bigger nightmare.
It is almost midnight. A fight to determine if I can squeeze in a few hours of sleep.
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